Fear of shining bright

Just as we hide the deepest and darkest parts of ourselves from the outside world (and also from ourselves), we also hide or try and diminish our light. This is something that I have struggled with throughout my life. A fear in shining bright and being the best and the brightest that I can be. Even as I type this I realise how absurd it is…but I promise you…it´s real!

¨As we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same¨ – Marianne Williamson

As with many of our fears or distorted patterns and lessons that keep being repeating in our lives, they often root back to incidents that occurred in our childhood. Regardless of whether what we felt at the time makes sense or is ¨valid¨ given the situation that occurred using the lens of the adult mind (which possesses the ability to rationalise and understand the greater picture), our emotions unfortunately don’t work that way. How we felt as a child is valid (it felt very real to us at the time) and genuine. And until we heal those inner child wounds, we will attract situations to ourselves which play out the common theme that keeps repeating until we learn our lesson and break the cycle.

I can distinctly remember an incident with a classmate when I was in Primary School which I believe was the catalyst for me in always trying to dim my light or play down my successes. I used to swim competitively. My swimming career began on the later side, and I was doing very well, making state teams and progressing quite quickly given the fact that I was relatively new to the sport. I can remember a classmate asking about what I did on the weekend and remember reciting the competition that I was in and that I placed well. Another classmate, who was at the table then declared that I was bragging about myself and was a complete show of. I was so hurt by the comment that they made. I remember bravely holding back the tears and my lower lip quivering as I desperately tried to collect myself. I was a very sensitive child, and still am, just much better about managing it now.  That afternoon, when Mum picked me up from school, I can remember opening the car door and immediately bursting into tears. I didn’t want to be seen as a brag. And I didn’t think I was bragging. I was just telling my other friend what had happened. Is that not allowed?!

This incident forever changed how I would view my successes, and it was then and there that I decided that celebrating my success (or even reciting them to other people) was something that I no longer wanted to participate in because of how it was received and how it made me feel. In future, I would only discuss it if I was asked and if anyone would ask me, I would just play it down. If I received any praise, I would be better served to just respond with a minimising comment. It’s just easier to not stand out.

In reality, this other child wasn’t to blame at all. And in all honestly, I´m sure they didn’t mean to hurt my feelings. To this day, I am sure they never realised (or even remember the incident!) the effect that it had on me at the time. I´ve forgiven this person (of course), knowing that at the time, they were a child and didn’t understand what they were saying. It wasn’t until recently, however, upon commencing my journey inward, that I realised how much of an impact this seemingly small interaction has had on my life and how it has played out and the tremendous discomfort that I feel when I am discussing my successes or receiving praise.

Blaze a path of your own brilliance and illuminate the world.

The first step in breaking any pattern or cycle is awareness. Now that I am acutely aware of my fear in shining bright,  I can now bring my conscious attention and intention to breaking this pattern. Here are 5 tried and true ways of shining your light bright and infusing the world with all of your special gifts:

+ Let your love flow. Keep your heart open. Do everything that you do with love and joy. Infuse it with passion and purpose. By doing this, you will bring meaning to all that you do.

+ Get after what you want. You aren’t selfish if you are prioritising yourself and chasing what you want. By chasing your dreams, you are encouraging and inspiring others. Showing others that they too can do it. Don’t ever hold back because you don´t think you are good enough or they are too big. You have more potential and capabilities than you realise. All you need to do is believe in yourself.

+ Speak your truth fearlessly. Say how you feel and mean what you say. Speak from your heart. Your opinion and your voice matters. You have a unique perspective to this world that only you can bring. Share it. Voice it. Allow it to be heard by others. You never know the impact that you have on others and who you may also give the permission to do the same.

+ Stand up for what you believe in. Don’t worry about the naysayers, the doubters and critics. They clearly have their own issues and dilemmas to deal with (themselves). Stay focussed and rooted in your own truth. Be authentic. Be true to you.

+ Approach the world with a child like wonder. Laugh. Play. Be silly. Get crazy. Act weird. Seek joy. When we follow our bliss and happiness, we are operating at one of the highest frequencies. Life is magic. We feel inspired, creative and limitless.

And with this, just as I too am learning to step into my own light and shine bigger and brighter than I ever have, I hope this also gives you permission to do the same. You are more powerful and magnificent than you could ever possibly imagine. You have such a unique and distinct voice and talents that can be shared with the world. Please don´t deny the world your gifts. Bring them. Share them. Show them off! We need to encourage each other to step forward in becoming the amazingly brilliant and talent beings that we are. There are endless possibilities and opportunities for all. It´s time for us to stop competing and start supporting. Begin collaborating and helping. No longer dim our light but let it shine bright. Celebrate our successes and the successes of others.

Dying to hear from you, what are your unique gifts? Or have any other hot tips on shining your light bright? Can you remember any incidents from your past that you may have experienced that maybe also contributed to you being in fear of your brilliance?

Life is like a great big canvas, and you should throw all the paint that you can on it.

…and if you´re like me…paint outside of the lines…using all of the colours…

Thank you for being YOU!

Big love,

Comments 2

  1. Hi Mel,

    It’s Natalie here from the Rosemary Project!

    Thank you so much for your blog post, it came at just the right time fore me! I’ve known this about myself for a long time, and have a real battle between my confident and lively personality and also a deep lack of confidence that others don’t know about me.

    I have wanted to write about my travels and experiences for a long time but was afraid of writing for fear of ‘bragging’. It would never be my intention to brag, but like you when I was younger had some situations- especially with other girls- being very cruel because I was happy, confident and friends with the boys! I decided not to put myself to the front anymore because of what others thought. Since I’m very perceptive I can usually tell what others are thinking so sometimes it is hard to continue. I know I care too much what other people think!

    Now I want to change this, I am on an incredible adventure and have SO much to share that now is the time. I actually came to your site as I was looking for inspiration to start my blog, and wow I guess I found it.

    I will shine my light as strong and bright as I can and not give a F**K who I blind (haha I love this saying)

    Thank you sister, for all your light.

    Mission accomplished.

    With love (and light)

    Natalie xxx

    1. Post
      Author

      Gorgeous girl! Thank you SO much for your message and I am so happy that the post has helped you! PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE write about your travels…you have so much to share with all of us and I would absolutely adore to read it! So please pass on the details when it is up and running! I hear you on the not caring what others thinks situation, I too find myself caring more than I probably should at times. It´s a process letting this go…some days are easier than others but I promise that once you get the hang of it, it is one of the most liberating (and loving) things that you could ever possibly do for yourself! You´ve got so much light to shine girlfriend and I cannot wait to follow your adventures and learn more about you and all of the wisdom that you have gained over your life through sharing your experiences.

      Lots of love to you and the crew at Rosemary. Blaze away, sister! Mel xxx

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