Are you awake yet?

It takes courage to endure the sharp pains of self discovery, rather than choose to take the dull pain of unconsciousness that would last the rest of our lives – Marianne Williamson

Because I am. I have been smacked awake. Nothing like a good ol´ universal b!tch slap to get your attention! Most of my life was spent in a dozing state. Sure I was in tune with some of this, I believed in a bigger consciousness, a spiritual world, lived my life upon the premise that everything happened for a reason, but what that looked like and what that actually represented, I was clueless. This otherness, the other side to this whole experience of life and my role as a co-creator in my reality, I really knew nothing about it. And had no basis or experience to draw any kind of conclusion. But now, after years of throwing myself into an inward journey of self discovery, through studying various spiritual practices and opening rituals, I have made a shift. A shift from being sort of aware to a full on knowing. I am now awake to what this is. To the mirage. The smoke screen. It´s a surreal thing to even experience, let alone try and find the words to describe it. Where would you even start?!

I’m not going to sugar coat this for you. The Spiritual Awakening/Ascension process is effing hard. It’s confronting. Alienating. Confusing. And can make you feel completely helpless and out of control. It can also make you feel insane (if it wasn’t for being around people who were experiencing the same kinds of things at the same time, I would have probably seriously considered locking myself up in a mental institution). And incredibly fearful at times. Who am I? Who is this person? I hardly recognise myself. Everything has changed. Everything that I once believed about myself as a truth or a certainty is gone. The character that I used to play as Melinda Page couldn´t feel any further from who she actually is. Everything that you once knew about yourself, what you like, what you do, your ideas about a fulfilling life has come undone. All the ¨rules¨ and the ¨reality¨ that you so blindly accept, are challenged and then broken. The things that you once saw as important for a happy life and tirelessly worked towards now seem meaningless. You are surprised by your own behaviour. Situations that once would have triggered you, no longer have the impact that they once would. And you are left with your life looking and feeling extremely alien from what it once was. How did I get here? So far from where I started, yet, knowing what I know right now, there is no other place I would rather be.

For a seed to achieve its greatest expression, it must come completely undone. The shell cracks, its insides come out and everything changes. To someone who doesn’t understand growth, it would look like complete destruction – Cynthia Occelli

For those that have not yet stirred from their slumber, what has been written above won’t mean too much, yet. It might seem really strange. Like I have lost my mind (yeah, maybe, that’s your perception, and quite frankly your business, not mine), but for some, I bet that it resonates on some level, at least. You can relate to the feeling of foreignness within yourself. You thought you knew what you wanted and where you were going with your life but now it is all changing…and drastically. You too found yourself pining away at this ¨dream¨, a dream that you have had for your life and thought that you so desperately wanted, only to realise at some point during the journey that you don’t in fact care about this dream at all. What now?

Allow to be. Let whatever falls away, fall away. Let whatever comes, come. Don’t resist. Trust in the divine timing of your life. Have faith that everything is happening for you and your highest good. Nothing lasts forever. Ride the ride. Heaven on earth awaits. 

For those of you who can relate to the feelings that I described above, there is a very good chance that you too are going through a Spiritual Awakening. While this is an incredible blessing to go through, in getting to know and meet your True Self (the co-creator of your existence), it also comes with its challenges. Know that you are not alone. You are not crazy. There is an enormous awakening occurring on Earth right now in the hope of shifting the consciousness to higher vibrations of love and positivity, something that this planet so desperately needs right now.

Through my own experience, the experience of others that I had the privilege of sharing this epic journey with and some widely accepted indicators, I have prepared a list detailing some of the more common signs of a Spiritual Awakening. Perhaps you can relate to a few…and maybe it will put your mind at ease for what has been occurring…

+ You´ve experienced a setback. This is usually the beginning of the process. It´s usually a reasonably significant set-back that really challenges the core of who you are (or who you thought you were). It shakes you. Sends you that universal b!tch slap that you so desperately needed to force you to sit with yourself and get to know what it is you want. Why are you here? What is your purpose? Are you living your purpose? Or maybe you don’t need to have that conversation, but you need the universe to send you a little helping hand in getting the fire started. Nothing like an illness, financial crisis, divorce (or falling apart of a significant relationship) or career change to really get the ball rolling…right!?

Sometimes good things fall apart so that better things can fall together.

+ You may be experiencing pains and aches in your body that you have never experienced before. This is due to changes in energy around you that affects you on a cellular level. During these times it is very important to take good care of your mind, body and soul. You are the love of your life. Treat yourself right!

+ Uncontrollable weight fluctuations. It can be up or down. This is something that I can definitely relate to as I have experienced both. In recent years my weight, which was usually pretty stable, exploded. I gained weight and there was little that I could do to shift it. And then all of a sudden, in the throws of this awakening, as if magic, and once I got aligned with my True Self and started exploring myself and following my bliss, the weight effortlessly fell off. And fast! The important thing here is to remember to check in with yourself. It is very possible that old eating habits that used to work for you no longer are serving you. For me, going vegetarian (eating fish occasionally) and eating whole natural foods made an enormous difference in my health and wellbeing. I am now very conscious of what I am fuelling my body so that it can thrive. Everyone is different and it is up to you to intuitively guide yourself with what works for you and keeps you feeling your best. In general, I recommend that most people focus on eating whole, unrefined and organic foods where possible. I would encourage you also to consider light exercise and perhaps a moderate strength routine (it helps me feel my best), although, again, everyone is different so please be sure to listen to you! Just because it works for me, doesn’t mean that it will work for you. Maybe you need more of a rigorous routine (or even a lighter one). Maybe you need the meat for your strength. Tuning in is key here. You know you best.

+ Unexplained anxiety or panic attacks (when this was never an issue previously). It could also be that the foods that you are eating are no longer working for you. Look to your physical body for sensitivities that may be manifesting in your body. Watch the sugar, processed foods, chemicals, alcohol and drug (including pharmaceutical drugs) intake. These substances are incredibly toxic and difficult for the body to process. For those of you who are on routine medications, I am in no way advocating that you stop taking your medicine but am encouraging you to perhaps work with your doctor (perhaps even consider seeking a holistic or functional medicine doctor) who can perhaps help you explore other avenues of treating the underlying cause of dis-ease.

+ Feel like you are on an emotional roller coaster and you don´t know how to get off. I can definitely relate to this! As a girl has always been reasonably even-keeled emotionally, the wide array of emotions that I have experienced the past few years have been astounding. Some that I can understand and make sense of given what was transpiring in my life and others that I have absolutely no idea why I am feeling the way that I am or what could have triggered me. It can be really alarming at times. One moment you are happy and on top of the world, the next you feel morose and depressed. What is happening here is that your Soul is bringing to your attention what needs to be healed. These can be emotions related to this life or even past lives (especially when you really cannot understand or relate to what you are experiencing). Give yourself the gift of allowing yourself to be with that emotion. Sit with it. Allow it to show you what it wants to show you. Feel it. Acknowledge it. Experiencing emotions are part of the gift of the human experience. Enjoy it. Learn from it. Ride that wave. It’s only temporary. All things shall pass. And as always, in times like this, return to your breath. The breath is incredibly healing and grounding. It connects you to the essence of who you are and allows you to integrate the emotions into yourself so that you can become whole again.

+ Persistent coughing, feeling like there is a lump in your throat or a general uneasiness in your throat area. This is your Soul asking you to begin Speaking Your Truth and acknowledging your inner wisdom. More often than not there is so much we want to say and share but the words just won’t come. Or if they do come, it comes out haphazardly and in an erratic and nonsensical manner. That´s ok. Your physical voice will come when it is ready but the good news is that you don’t have to physically speak to express your truth. Meditate with how you are feeling and take pen to paper. Sometimes making sense of your thoughts and expressing your feelings is easier to accomplish in the written form. I find writing to be very therapeutic in clearing my head. I am also very fortunate to have a strong support system of friends who are also going through similar experiences. If you too are so lucky to have this, then talk to them. Sharing these crazy experiences in a safe space makes this process much easier. If you don´t, use the community here as your platform to share. Work with me, if you feel drawn to that. Just know that you are not alone and always have options.

+ Feeling constantly exhausted or having a hard time sleeping (or even erratic sleeping patterns). What is with sleeping for a 8 hours and then needing a nap on top of that?! Your body is adjusting to new energy and the increased vibrations. It´s getting a vibrational upgrade, if you will. So rest. Take that time when you need it to. And when you are feeling overly energised (unfortunately this happens more often than not), get creative. Express it. Write. Sing. Dance. Be sure to express all the pent up energy so that it can be released. I´ve found that some of the easiest posts for me to write are late at night when I have an insane amount of energy instead of catching zzzz’s in dreamland. The words are just flooding out of my fingertips onto the keyboard. Listen to how you are feeling and take care of yourself and your needs. Be your own priority. As a Lightworker, you naturally are drawn to helping and assisting others (more often to the detriment of yourself). But in order to give your best work, you cannot operate on an empty cup. So keep that cup overflowing and allowing all of your juicy goodness to flow into the cups of others. It´s not about taking the juice that you have and pouring it into the cup of another, it’s all about making so much juice within, that the excess can be shared and enjoyed by all.

+ Feeling lost or like there is something missing. Something is off. Or maybe you have a desperate longing to reconnect to your long-lost love. Your soul is trying to show you the disconnection that you have with yourself. I have some news for you guys, you are the loves of your lives! All the love that you could ever possibly desire and that you so desperately crave is all within. It is yours and yours alone. No one can ever take it away from you. So tap in.  I get it. It’s scary. So much change. I have been there. Things that once made us happy no longer do. Our friends and the types of relationships that we were in that once made us feel so good and brought so much joy, now feel so foreign. We cannot relate to them or the experience anymore. It’s like talking to a stranger or feeling like they may be meeting ¨you¨ for the first time when you do try and spend time together. The reason for this is because we are breaking through to a new way of thinking. Old paradigms and norms are being dissolved. You are rewiring your thoughts and creating a new way of life that is True to You. How freaking amazing is that?! Just flow with it. But that doesn’t mean that you are to abandon your family and old friends, far from it. Just know that the way you are feeling, maybe a little disconnected, is normal. Explore new ways of reconnecting with them. Allow them to get to know the new you. And it is ok. Have compassion for yourself, and the other person. It is an adjustment for everyone. Allow what will be, be. They are still allowed to be part of your life! But if things are needing to break away because it is causing you or the other person too much pain, gracefully let it break away. Allow the new things that are for your highest good to come in. By strenuously gripping to what once was, you are not allowing the new magic to come in. Let it come. You are so deserving!

When I run after what I think I want my days are a furnace of stress and anxiety.
If I sit in my own place of patience, what I need flows to me and without pain.
From this I understand that what I want also wants me, is looking for me and is attracting me.
There is a great secret here for anyone that can grasp it. – Rumi


+ Hypersensitivity. Perhaps you begin seeing or sensing non-physical energies (even beings). There really isn’t anything to be afraid of here (as crazy and trippy as it all sounds). The truth of the matter is that we belong to a multi-dimensional universe. The physical dimension (the 3D) is the dimension that we have been living in since the beginning of time, but things are now shifting, and we are moving into the 5D, which is allowing us more access to the spiritual realms while maintaining our physical form. Pretty cool if you think about it!  Just remember that as the co-creators of your existence, you always have Free Will. If you are experiencing anything that is causing you unease, ask it (or them) to leave. During this time your intuition and manifestation powers are increasing and becoming more conscious. Tap into it! You don’t have to do anything that you don’t want to do here. The only thing that your Soul is asking from you in this lifetime is that you become the best and brightest version of you. Your Soul is craving you to Illuminate Your EPIC!

+ Lack of concentration. Spaciness. Forgetfulness. Even the simplest of tasks seem to take a concerted effort. Now this one I can absolutely relate to! Previously having what I would describe as a strong analytical mind and being able to exhibit long bouts of laser focussed concentration and mental strength (hey, I once worked in finance and sat at a desk for 12 hours a day), what I have been experiencing of late has been an absolute head f*ck. Thankfully, I have chosen to see the comical side of it all so it makes the blow a little easier. I have found that at times I have morphed into the ditziest, spazziest and spaciest person that I have ever known. Some of the most routine tasks, that you would never blink an eye at, have turned into quite an ordeal. Like walking home. I was recently walking home to my apartment, an apartment that I have been living in for quite sometime now, and it wasn’t until I reached the edge of a completely different neighbourhood that I realised I turned right instead of left when I left a building! …ummmm hello, seriously?! Your Spirit is in and out of other dimensions during this time of awakening. When you are feeling any of these qualities, become aware of yourself physically, emotionally and spiritually. Are there any patterns? Any recurring feelings? It could help you identify when your next bout of brain drain is about to occur. A heads up is always nice! Daydreaming and forgetfulness is a lack of being in the physical dimension. Lack of concentration and spaciness is usually due to your Spirit travelling in and out of the dimensions and not fully integrating in the physical upon it’s return. A grounding meditation is helpful when you are feeling particularly spacey.

+ Flu-like symptoms (or mind-numbing headaches) but knowing that you aren’t actually sick. This has happened to me and several of my friends during this period. It’s never nice to feel like you are pinned in bed but as with most of these symptoms of awakening and ascension, you just gotta ride the wave baby!  This is your body conducting a physical detox and releasing stale energy. Any head related pains is usually to do with the opening of your third eye and crown chakras. Look after yourself and drink lots of fluid during this time.

+ Kundalini Rising. The electrical snake that whips up all of your chakras. It doesn’t always happen so quickly, but if it does, you are thrown into a period of heightened sense of awareness and knowingness almost instantaneously. It has also been described as energetic lightning bolts that work up your spine. Waves or emotion or sensitivity that pulsate through the body. Uncontrollable shaking and jerking of the body are also so common side effects. Wild enough for ya?! The symptoms arise because of blocks in the chakras. Once these have been healed, the individual can continue on their spiritual development. If you experience the electrical snake after a considerable amount of spiritual development, you are less likely to have adverse side-effects. A Kundalini Rising can be triggered by a myriad of different things, including intense energy work, sexual experiences, drug use, trauma, abuse, dedicated yoga practice and other life events.

+ You have your a-ha moment. One minute you are the sleepy you and the next the penny drops and everything just makes sense. You may not be able to explain it to another or gather your thoughts in a neat or concise fashion but you just get it. We Are One. I Am You. You Are Me. You Are Everything. Everything Is You. ´nuff said…

+ Out of body experience. Just as the shift from 3D to 5D is occurring, the veil between these dimensions is thinning and because of this, you will realise that there are no longer boundaries between Physical, Spiritual or Soul Self. We are multi-dimensional beings and you have the potential to travel between our different selves. So if you ever have the feeling that you are not in your body, or are able to see your physical body from a different perspective. Don’t be afraid. Just another bonus for working in the 5D! Wheeeeeeee!

+ Manifesting abilities. You thought about something that you really wanted and poof…there it is! What the….ummmm thanks Universe! Get excited folks, these type of super powers will be available to all in the 5D.

+ Psychic powers. You have predicted something happening. Or maybe not as extreme but your intuition is on point. Any gut or knee jerk reaction that you have to something hasn’t let you down and you can´t believe how right you were. High five sista (or bro)…life is about to get real interesting!

+ Loss of worrying. Things that may have plagued you in the past no longer worry you. You begin to not care what others think. You need less to be happy and feel fulfilled. Even though you may experience momentary bouts of worry (hey, we’re all human!), you feel a general calm about your life and where it is going. You don´t worry about tomorrow and just focus on today. You know that you are constantly loved, protected and guided always. You believe and trust in your power in writing your story. You believe that everything is unfolding just as it needs to and everything is happening is for your highest good.

You have seen your own strength. 
You have seen your own beauty. 
You have seen your golden wings. 
Why do you worry?
– Rumi

+ You have become incredibly sensitive to energy. You have a loss of interest in conflict. You may even find yourself becoming extra sensitive to the news (can I get a hell yes?! I can hardly watch or read the news without experiencing energetic discomfort). You may even find it difficult to be in crowds and managing all of the different energies that are present. You find yourself hibernating more and being less social than you used to. Or maybe you have found yourself scaling back your social crew to just a few of your other fellow high vibers. Your vibe attracts your tribe…

+ You feel extremely blissed-out and heart bursting with gratitude moments. You cannot believe how lucky you are to be alive and for all of your infinite blessings. You find beauty in the simplest of things and find yourself marvelling at things that you once would have walked by as if it was nothing. #sunsetmagic no more words necessary. pinch me pleaseeeeeeeeeee!!!

+ Synchronicity. You start seeing synchronicity in your life and believing in it. ¨Coincidences¨ that can’t just be chance as they hold too much meaning. Realising that every person or situation that occurs in your life is destined to be there. Pay attention to the synchronicities. Life is supposed to flow. When you are experiencing synchronicities, you know that you are on the right track.

The best way to make this transition smooth is to remember that all of the answers are all rooted in Love. Self Love, specifically. Make yourself a priority. Listen to yourself and your needs. Nurture yourself. Allow yourself to feel what you need to feel. Be kind to yourself. And in doing so, you will discover a love that you never knew was possible. A love that runs deep and is unconditional. It´s all about coming back to the love and cultivating it within.

Remember that there is nothing to be afraid of here. We are the writers and directors of our own story. We are more powerful and greater than we could possibly imagine. Anything that we are experiencing that is negative is either being shown to be healed or our ego´s best efforts to keep us small, to keep us safe, to keep us within limits. The ego wants to maintain control. When the ego feels in control, we stay small and react to what happens to us. But why not be bold enough to create our experience? We are destined for bigger and brighter things, if only we would believe in ourselves. We have the power. We have to push past our perceived barriers and go further and deeper into the unknown. Take control of our destiny and write our story. Don’t be afraid by the unknown. We don’t know what lies ahead, there are no guarantees, but we must preserve anyway. A true test of blind faith.

All we need is to have the trust. We are safe. We are protected and we are guided. Always. The courage to take that leap and believe that there will be a net to catch us. That once we show that we have the courage and the faith in our mission and higher purpose, that we will be provided for. All of the blessings and the experiences that we need will arrive just when we need them.

I promise you, these storms are only trying to wash you clean – Jessica Katoff

So, I´m dying to hear from you, do any of you have any wild awakening experiences to share? Or do you maybe have any tips or tricks on how to deal with these symptoms? Have any others to add to the list?! spill!

As always, thank you for being YOU!

Big love,

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